


I Don't Know Anything

by WibblyWobbly_TimeyWimey



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Broken, Death, Gen, Giving Up, Pain, broke, everything is horrible basically, tw: depression-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1291924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WibblyWobbly_TimeyWimey/pseuds/WibblyWobbly_TimeyWimey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t until she was standing there, in front of the sheriff, crying, breaking, that she realized; she was not losing herself. She was already long gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Know Anything

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [strong when you are weak](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1291018) by [ceserabeau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceserabeau/pseuds/ceserabeau). 



If she were to pinpoint the moment that her life went spiraling, she would probably tell you about the day she died. She wish she could say, that she wasn’t afraid, but that would be a lie. When she entered the icecold water she felt real fear, as she had only lately come to know it. She wanted out, but she couldn’t keep the voices out.

“Argent, because we are strong”

Her mom.

“You are a leader Allison”

Her father.

“Fight. Don’t be a baby”.

Aunt Kate.

They were not the only voices. She wanted to block them out, she wanted out of the tub, she wanted to _live_. But the words kept her down. She had to be strong, a leader, because that was all she knew. That was what she was trained for. Not to be the silly love-struck teenage girl, or bff of the most popular girl in High School. These were both so silly and stupid. And she was stupid for wanting it. _And she couldn’t get out_. There were hands too. On her shoulders, pushing her down, pushing her under. And the water - oh, the water was horrible. It caged around her, the cold seeping deep into her bones, and the darkness came with it. And as the darkness grew other things came reaching out too. The victims of her family. Some horribly disfigured. Burn victims. Her mother, blood on her stomach, Kate, blood on her throath. And as she looked down there was blood too. At first she thought it was her own, but no, she had drowned. The blood on her hands was not hers. It was of all these dead people, whoms pain she felt all at once. Everything was red, dark, hurt, terror, such horrible sounds, and _pain_.

Then suddenly it all stopped and there was light.

 

But that was only the beginning. That was the day Allison Argent died, but her life continued as normal.

The days passed but she barely noticed. Everywhere she looked _they_ were. She wasn’t the only one who had come back, but she was the only one who could see. If she hadn’t been so afraid she might have told about the dark figures, the bloody figures, the screaming figures. But she didn’t. And she didn’t sleep much either because everytime she closed her eyes they were close. They couldn’t touch her as long as she was awake, or so she told herself. So she became more and more distant, the bags under her eyes growing darker and darker. She could see the worry in people’s eyes but they never said anything so neither did she.

She was an Argent. Cold and hard as silver. A fighter. A leader. She could not loose. Losing was never an option.

 

And she heard her father screaming about how he had not only lost a wife, she had made sure he lost a daughter too. And then he was right in front of her but she didn’t even flinch. She didn’t care. His words were a mere whisper over the shouts of the woman with blood pouring out of her neck. Why could no one else see them? Why did she?

She sat by and she let him hit her. She didn’t react.

She let him fall to his knees crying. She didn’t react.

She let him take her in his hands, holding her, crying, whispering how sorry he was but she still didn’t react. Maybe if she just stayed completely still _they_ would go away and the pain with them. Oh, it hurt, it hurt so badly.

 

The circles around her eyes grew bigger, and her grades tumbled down. What were they worth anymore? And she let Isaac kiss her, because when he touched her she forgot everything for a moment, and she felt normal again. She liked him.

But when she kissed him it was like drowning all over again. She could never let her guard down cause they would get in again, and she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, _couldn’t breathe_.

 

The days grew colder, the nightmares worse, and she just didn’t care anymore because at least when she didn’t care everything hurt slightly less. She could pretend that she was a shell, that she was in fact not at all.

Life went on, but Allison didn’t. And she was stuck, stuck in the pain and darkness and blood. Stuck in the screams of old victims and her dead family. Stuck back there in the land of the dead, even when Scott and Stiles got better. But she didn’t, and she didn’t understand. How could they be fine so quickly, when she was losing her mind? How could everything be okay for them, what did _she_ do wrong? So she never told anyone. Something was wrong with her, she had failed, she wasn’t strong as silver, she wasn’t a leader, Kate was right, she was a _baby_ , a no one, worthless. She wasn’t good enough. She couldn’t handle it. She was weak and she deserved this. She deserved the horror and terror because she was weak when she was supposed to be strong, she let everyone down when she was supposed to be a leader, and she was a baby when she was supposed to be a fighter.

She was failing classes, she couldn’t love Isaac as he deserved, she was trying to kill her friends and everywhere she looked she saw death.

She was a failure, she was wrong and _she deserved this._

 

It wasn’t until she was standing there, in front of the sheriff, crying, breaking, that she realized; she was not losing herself. She was already long gone.

 

 

~~_I don't know! I don't know! I don't know anything!_ ~~

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly decided to write depressing Allison shit instead of sleeping on a school night. What is my life?  
> Idk, Allison is really awesome and so is Crystal so I just really wanted to write something about Allison to take a break from all the Sterek (I love Sterek, but man it's everywhere). I take prompts on my [Tumblr](www.howlingteenwolf.tumblr.com) and I also have an appreciation blog for the ladies of Teen Wolf [here](www.hunterandbanshee.tumblr.com). Feel free to leave kudos and comments! xx  
> (Btw I got inspired to write this from another fic, I have linked it as the inspiration)


End file.
